I have a list today and am feeling especially bitchy:

1) When you come in early just to watch your tape of Alias because you can't stay up late anymore because your kids get up so freaking early and your stupid ass boss comes in and mentions how the show really sucks and he wouldn't be surprised if it gets cancelled, all the while knowing it is your favorite show.

2) When your other boss makes you do all the dirty work because she doesn't have the balls to do it herself. It's your f-ing project, you call and tell them they are doing crappy work. You think they will listen to me?

3) When your co-worker who is trying to be nice, orders 15 snickers and 15 milky ways and puts them in your desk drawer. They are calling my name as I type. No, no, I can't hear you you little demons of weight gain!

4) When your husband who knows that you want to lose weight and knows that you think you are fat, comments on other women being fat. Insensitivity training 101 class is calling for sign ups hon.

5) When you go to transcribe a tape and you put on the new headphones you bought and the right ear doesn't work.