That could be it... I don't know. Which then brings the answer to the 2nd question... do I want to be a part of this? There too, I don't know. Having walked the fine line between that kind of depression and sanity, I know what it is like. I know how much it sucks. I'm drawn to him tho, in a way I don't totally get... AKKK! I hate this...

On a whole other note, I have blazed of gloried, but not with a boy I was dating. Once when I was in college, I was friends with this guy who had been going out with one of my friends but she broke up with him and he stalked her. Despite everyone's urging not to continue our (his and mine) friendship, I continued to talk to him but made it abundently clear I would not talk about my female friend in any way, shape or form. So I go to a hockey game with Kris (the girl), Kate and a couple of others and he is there... he knew I would be there altho I didn't tell him Kris was there. So I'm standing in line for concessions (even better a public blaze of glory) and he was like "hi friend" and I lit into him. In line at the concession in a perfectly rational tone, no yelling or swearing, I informed him that we obviously were not friends and he was just using me to get to Kris and I would never forgive him. Friends do not behave in this manner, that I was the one person who had stood by him through all of this and now I was done with him. That the others had been right all along. He deserved whatever trouble he got into and he was not a good person. Kris was right to break up with him because of how terrible he was. This went on for at least 5 min... while in line at the concession stand... with a ton of people staring at us. I was so enraged I was actually shaking. When I was done, he walked away all head down and I never spoke to him again. Altho I did see him some time later married to a girl who was like an ugly version of Kris. In retrospect... that was a totally nice blaze of glory.