Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Ok girls. Pipe down. If it makes you feel any better, you aren't the only ones I am ignoring. I actually am very fucking occupied at the moment. In fact, I am currently experiencing a botheration that I will love to share at some point. And yes, it has to do with those good for nothing, money grubbing, blood sucking, ass face Realtors. Not the same ones as before, this time my Realtor and the Realtor representing the sellers of the house we are buying. More to come but long story short, we may not be getting our house nor closing on the sale of the house that we're selling. Everything is all fubar and on top of things, I am bombarded here at work. So please, cut me some effing slack momacitas.

And BTW - good luck kicking my ass! You've gotta try to catch me first!

Now on to the stories...

I believe that y'all chose assault. Therefore, here's the briefing on the other stories you passed up.

infidelity - I promised my current girlfriend at the time that I would never cheat on her, as this was something that she had been threw once before and she ended up extremely hurt. Well, surprise surprise, I hooked up with my ex shortly thereafter for a one nighter. I felt so bad afterwards that I broke up with the current girlfriend. I made up some story as to why I wanted to end it. Fortunately, she also thought that it was a good idea (phew). To this day, she doesn't know the truth. But there's a happy ending. I would have never married this woman and now she is happily married with children. Oh yeah, and if she found out, she probably would have kicked my ass.

dishonesty - Ok, I know what your thinking. Wasn't that last story about dishonesty? Well, yeah. But this one personifies it. I raided my best friend's baseball card collection and asked him if I could keep the cards (he wasn't much of collector and couldn't really appreciate what he had - so sad). When he asked me what the cards were worth, if I had taken anything that was valuable, I told him they were worth nothing and that I was only taking a few cards to complete my set. This was at the peak of the baseball card market (mid 80's) and at the time, the value of the cards that I took were worth around $100. What a sucker. Unfortunately, there is no happy ending to this story. My friend was later institutionalized for hearing voices in his head. When he finally "got better", he turned into one of those bible worshippers that takes the whole Book literally? You know, one of those crazy Jesus Bible lovers that constantly quotes scriptures and verses? Anyhow, our friendship dissolved. He would later try to become friends with me again and I would have to repeatedly tell him "no, its over man". I had to be really mean on occasion. Eventually, he stopped coming around.

broken trust - My Dad trusted me with his 1-year old, mint condition sports car. I was 16. I was dumb. I was OUT-OF-CONTROL... I totaled the car and my Dad didn't talk to me for 2 weeks. This is worst I have ever felt. Nothing is worse than when your Dad tells you he is disappointed in you.

assault - This is actually the longest of the stories. Do I still have until Friday at noon or have I satisfied your appetites enough?

--Bomb--

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