Boring Crap

I can't find affordable patio furniture that doesn't look like it belongs at an old folks home. This is especially important to those of you who may be coming to my housewarming BBQ next month. You may have to stand the entire time or balance your tushy on the narrow brick planter. Also, if you want to come to the housewarming and you didn't get an invite, don't feel slighted, just let me know.