Jesus Christ Superstar

I pray. A lot. Most of my prayers are very short, though. There are two prayers that are in the top of the rotation.

Jesus Christ! Fucking moron!

Christ, I need a drink.

I used to feel guilty, thinking that I was taking the Lord's name in vain and adding to the long list of things I needed to confess upon my next, too-distant church visit. Then I realized that these are really shorthand prayers.

Jesus Christ! Fucking moron!
Translation: Dear Jesus, please don't let me rear end this fucking moron who just cut me off.

Christ, I need a drink.
Translation: Dear Jesus, please help me to have the (liquid) courage I need to deal with all of these fucking morons.

Amen.