Notice to Babies and Kids

I will not be attending any more of your birthday parties until I have a baby or a kid of my own. I love all of you babies and kids, but you never serve coctails at your party and I am at an age now where I require a generous basting of alcohol in order to attend the celebration of adding another year to the age tally. Ok, so this is your first year. You are one year old. Fat and happy and just learning to walk. Fab. I'm pleased for you. Have your cake and I will send a present. You'll never know I wasn't there. Just remember that I got you the good one.

Love,

Auntie Michelle

P.S. See you when you are 21.