The Worst Thing Adam Has Done
You may recall that in the middle of April we all, except for the tardy Adam, posted the worst thing we had ever done. Well, Adam had done so many mean things to people that he had to choose just one. I finally convinced him over IM today to tell me the story.
I am too lazy to edit it, but I did change our IM names so that we don't get spammed.
smartypants: also, post your goddamn story already
Adam: lol
Adam: I thought you forgot about that
Adam: damnit
smartypants: i never forget
smartypants: NEVER
smartypants: IM it to me right now and I will post it
Adam: long story short...
Adam: it was the holidays
Adam: and I was leaving work at the Oaks Mall
Adam: parking was crazy like it always is during the holidays
Adam: I am about to pull out
Adam: and behind me, I notice that there is this argument over who gets my spot
Adam: well
Adam: I decide to get involved rather than drive off
Adam: because I didn't think that it was fair for this person to lose the spot
Adam: so
Adam: I get out of may car... before pulling out of the space
Adam: to help resolve the issue
Adam: bad mistake
Adam: the bitch in the car that was trying to steal the spot drives forward and attempts to run me over... as I was intentionally blocking the spot for the other car
Adam: so...
Adam: I go balistic
Adam: ballistic
Adam: and I go up to the bitches window and say "I'm gonna kick your fucking ass"
smartypants: off to meeting... finish your story and i will post when i get back
Adam: after which, I notice that she was pregnant
Adam: had to be at least 7 or 8 months
Adam: now, this was in my mullet wearing bad ass days
Adam: 1990-91ish
Adam: so I had no remorse
Adam: ok, I lied, it was like 93 now that I think about it
Adam: still had the mullet though
Adam: anyhow, I'm pissed, so I jump back in my mini-truck, do a nice little burn-out in anger and speed out of the parking lot
Adam: leaving the 2 other drivers to settle it for themselves
Adam: now
Adam: flash forward about 1-2 weeks
Adam: I am at work
Adam: and I get a call from a detective
Adam: he told me that I was witnessed by a construction worker on top of the mall keying this preggo bitches car
Adam: which is a bunch of crap
Adam: he asked me if I would agree to appear in a lineup so that I can be identified and I said yes, of course
Adam: I told him what happened but that I didn't vandalize her vehicle
Adam: that was the last I heard from the detective
Adam: I'm not sure who got the spot. I can only guess that it was the bitch and that the other person who wanted the spot keyed her car
Adam: otherwise, maybe she was just trying to get me in trouble because I threatened her, but she threatened to run me over first
Adam: actually did run me over
Adam: well, that's it
Adam: hope it was worth the wait
Adam: now back to work!
I am too lazy to edit it, but I did change our IM names so that we don't get spammed.
smartypants: also, post your goddamn story already
Adam: lol
Adam: I thought you forgot about that
Adam: damnit
smartypants: i never forget
smartypants: NEVER
smartypants: IM it to me right now and I will post it
Adam: long story short...
Adam: it was the holidays
Adam: and I was leaving work at the Oaks Mall
Adam: parking was crazy like it always is during the holidays
Adam: I am about to pull out
Adam: and behind me, I notice that there is this argument over who gets my spot
Adam: well
Adam: I decide to get involved rather than drive off
Adam: because I didn't think that it was fair for this person to lose the spot
Adam: so
Adam: I get out of may car... before pulling out of the space
Adam: to help resolve the issue
Adam: bad mistake
Adam: the bitch in the car that was trying to steal the spot drives forward and attempts to run me over... as I was intentionally blocking the spot for the other car
Adam: so...
Adam: I go balistic
Adam: ballistic
Adam: and I go up to the bitches window and say "I'm gonna kick your fucking ass"
smartypants: off to meeting... finish your story and i will post when i get back
Adam: after which, I notice that she was pregnant
Adam: had to be at least 7 or 8 months
Adam: now, this was in my mullet wearing bad ass days
Adam: 1990-91ish
Adam: so I had no remorse
Adam: ok, I lied, it was like 93 now that I think about it
Adam: still had the mullet though
Adam: anyhow, I'm pissed, so I jump back in my mini-truck, do a nice little burn-out in anger and speed out of the parking lot
Adam: leaving the 2 other drivers to settle it for themselves
Adam: now
Adam: flash forward about 1-2 weeks
Adam: I am at work
Adam: and I get a call from a detective
Adam: he told me that I was witnessed by a construction worker on top of the mall keying this preggo bitches car
Adam: which is a bunch of crap
Adam: he asked me if I would agree to appear in a lineup so that I can be identified and I said yes, of course
Adam: I told him what happened but that I didn't vandalize her vehicle
Adam: that was the last I heard from the detective
Adam: I'm not sure who got the spot. I can only guess that it was the bitch and that the other person who wanted the spot keyed her car
Adam: otherwise, maybe she was just trying to get me in trouble because I threatened her, but she threatened to run me over first
Adam: actually did run me over
Adam: well, that's it
Adam: hope it was worth the wait
Adam: now back to work!
3 Comments:
I don't know if it was worth the wait. It isn't nearly as juicy as I had hoped it would be given how long we had to wait.
I agree. I was really hoping for some bloodshed.
Agreed: Disappointing. But Adam's going to hell for threatening a pregnant woman (even if she is a bitch), and that's something to smile about.
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