Kill, Part 2
You may recall this post in which I wrote that I could be driven to kill people who describe themselves as airheads or goofballs because it just seems like an excuse for them to act stupidly or inconsidertately toward others.
I nearly killed one of them today. If there hadn't been so many people around, I might have. I am at a conference and we were all in the ballroom, eating lunch and waiting for the keynote speaker. One woman who looks like Cher's wallflower alter ego with glasses and frumpy hair was annoying me right away just by speaking. There are some people who just immediately get on your nerves for no apparent reason. It wasn't long before she gave me a reason.
The main course was served. It was a very small chicken breast, some BBQ beef brisket (I am in Texas) and some random vegetables. Loser Cher asked the table at large, "What is the sauce on the chicken?" Several of us looked at the mysterious orange sauce and shrugged our shoulders. Loser Cher asked, "Does it have mustard?" A couple brave souls tasted the sauce and then shrugged their shoulders. I turned back to my lunch and tore into the brisket. Then next thing I know, Loser Cher was hacking and making a face like two-year-old refusing to eat broccoli.
I was thinking, Are you fucking kidding me? Don't eat it then, you big baby. She sipped her water, then her tea, then dug out a medicinal brown bottle and put drops on her tongue. I guess the drops didn't do whatever they were supposed to do because she got up and left. Another lady across the table says, belatedly, "I think it is honey mustard sauce." Loser Cher's friend says, "Cher is allergic to mustard." For fuck's sake! If you have a food allergy that is going to send you into a fit of dramatics, don't you think you should ask the server what kind of sauce is on something before you dig into it?
Later, and this is where I nearly killed Loser Cher, when the keynote speaker said something that inspired spontaneous, wild applause, Loser Cher, instead of clapping like a normal person, banged on the table to show her appreciation, in the process knocking over an emoty water glass and sending silverware flying. Her reponse? "I am such a space cadet."
Kill.
I nearly killed one of them today. If there hadn't been so many people around, I might have. I am at a conference and we were all in the ballroom, eating lunch and waiting for the keynote speaker. One woman who looks like Cher's wallflower alter ego with glasses and frumpy hair was annoying me right away just by speaking. There are some people who just immediately get on your nerves for no apparent reason. It wasn't long before she gave me a reason.
The main course was served. It was a very small chicken breast, some BBQ beef brisket (I am in Texas) and some random vegetables. Loser Cher asked the table at large, "What is the sauce on the chicken?" Several of us looked at the mysterious orange sauce and shrugged our shoulders. Loser Cher asked, "Does it have mustard?" A couple brave souls tasted the sauce and then shrugged their shoulders. I turned back to my lunch and tore into the brisket. Then next thing I know, Loser Cher was hacking and making a face like two-year-old refusing to eat broccoli.
I was thinking, Are you fucking kidding me? Don't eat it then, you big baby. She sipped her water, then her tea, then dug out a medicinal brown bottle and put drops on her tongue. I guess the drops didn't do whatever they were supposed to do because she got up and left. Another lady across the table says, belatedly, "I think it is honey mustard sauce." Loser Cher's friend says, "Cher is allergic to mustard." For fuck's sake! If you have a food allergy that is going to send you into a fit of dramatics, don't you think you should ask the server what kind of sauce is on something before you dig into it?
Later, and this is where I nearly killed Loser Cher, when the keynote speaker said something that inspired spontaneous, wild applause, Loser Cher, instead of clapping like a normal person, banged on the table to show her appreciation, in the process knocking over an emoty water glass and sending silverware flying. Her reponse? "I am such a space cadet."
Kill.
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