An Anecdote about Crack Babies
My first job out of college was at a social service agency. I was one of the first people hired and quite involved in getting the whole thing set up. Except for the agency director, everyone who worked there was a twentysomething woman.
As twentysomething women are wont to do, we spent a lot of time sitting around gabbing. On one day in particular, my friend Alice said something really dumb and I, being the cleverest of the clever, suggested that her mother had been smoking crack while she was pregnant with Alice. We all laughed.
Later, my boss Heidi called me in to her office.
"Michelle, you need to be more sensitive of other people's feelings."
"I'll buy that. Was there something in particular that I did this time?" I asked. I am in no way delusional about the kind of person that I am and will own up to the fact that I am occasionally, intentionally or not, insensitive to other people's feelings.
"Well, your comment about Alice being a crack baby..."
I laughed. "I don't think you need to worry about Alice being offended. She has often wondered if her mother had taken to the pipe while pregnant."
Stoney-faced Heidi continued, "That's not it. Dana heard everything you said."
"Dana? So?"
"Dana smoked crack while she was pregnant and she had a crack baby."
"I had no idea," I said. I wonder how many HR policies Heidi violated by telling me that. "Did Dana say something?"
"Well, no..."
As I was processing the information I became enraged. I was getting in trouble for possibly making someone feel bad who may not have even been offended or, as far as I knew, even understood what I was saying due to possibly being high on crack. If Heidi had been reaming me for telling stupid and juvenile jokes, ok, that's deserved, but for possibly hurting the feelings of someone who fucked up her kid by smoking crack while pregnant? No.
I replied, "I will make sure I take a crack smoker's feelings into consideration the next time I am having a conversation that in no way involves her and in no way refers to her."
"Thank you."
As twentysomething women are wont to do, we spent a lot of time sitting around gabbing. On one day in particular, my friend Alice said something really dumb and I, being the cleverest of the clever, suggested that her mother had been smoking crack while she was pregnant with Alice. We all laughed.
Later, my boss Heidi called me in to her office.
"Michelle, you need to be more sensitive of other people's feelings."
"I'll buy that. Was there something in particular that I did this time?" I asked. I am in no way delusional about the kind of person that I am and will own up to the fact that I am occasionally, intentionally or not, insensitive to other people's feelings.
"Well, your comment about Alice being a crack baby..."
I laughed. "I don't think you need to worry about Alice being offended. She has often wondered if her mother had taken to the pipe while pregnant."
Stoney-faced Heidi continued, "That's not it. Dana heard everything you said."
"Dana? So?"
"Dana smoked crack while she was pregnant and she had a crack baby."
"I had no idea," I said. I wonder how many HR policies Heidi violated by telling me that. "Did Dana say something?"
"Well, no..."
As I was processing the information I became enraged. I was getting in trouble for possibly making someone feel bad who may not have even been offended or, as far as I knew, even understood what I was saying due to possibly being high on crack. If Heidi had been reaming me for telling stupid and juvenile jokes, ok, that's deserved, but for possibly hurting the feelings of someone who fucked up her kid by smoking crack while pregnant? No.
I replied, "I will make sure I take a crack smoker's feelings into consideration the next time I am having a conversation that in no way involves her and in no way refers to her."
"Thank you."
1 Comments:
Ahhh. This post stirs up lots of emotions in me, but I'll spare. Sounds like you handled it well.
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