Woody

This just in...

As you are well aware, Acorn Woodpeckers in the oak trees have become very aggressive. The landlords for the building have looked into the situation. According to the California Dept. of Fish & Game, the agency responsible for recommending an action plan, this species of Woodpeckers is protected. They can not be relocated or harmed in any way. Therefore, the solution is to avoid the area.

The Environmental, Health & Safety Department highly recommends that employees, contractors and visitors park in other available parking lots. Two employees have been injured in two weeks. We don't want any more injuries due to employees walking through the area of the woodpeckers. These birds can hurt you.

We need to respect their habitat and leave them alone so they can complete this stage in their development and move on. In order to protect their environment and your safety, please make a temporary adjustment to your routine and park elsewhere. Soon, they will move on and you can return to the lot.

The person who forwarded me that email had this to add about the two employees who were injured...

They got dive bombed and hit with beaks in the back of the head... My boss almost got hurt... One of the peckers hit his head with its belly. Is that what's called a near miss?