Monday, October 11, 2004

I fucking hate fucking car alarms!

Let's face it. They are not useful anymore. 9 times out of 10 they are going off not because some burgler is breaking into your car but because it is raining hard (which happens believe me) or because someone walked too close to your car or because some idiot forgot and pressed the wrong button.

If you live in rural areas, you have a car alarm... it is a bluetick hound named something like Patsy. It howls when little Bubba Jr. comes into the yard to 'borrow' the truck (the truck being an 87 Ford) to go play chicken on the highway between Stumpy and Stumpyville.

If you live in Suburbia, you park your shiny Lexus in a garage. If you had to park in the driveway (horrors!) and your car alarm goes off, well Spencer or Hugh goes heading outside in his boxers armed with a baseball bat as if that is going to help him against a would be car thief. If you're at the mall... well it isn't like you're going to hear the car alarm going off when you're in Macy's. And for that matter there are ALWAYS car alarms going off in the mall. Everyone ignores them. It is like the terrorist warning levels that keep coming out of Washington. You have a vague sense that you should care, but you don't really.

Finally, us urban dwellers who are the ones I am particularly rageful against. We live in tall buildings. At 1:30 in the morning by the time the noise reaches your fuzzy sleep addled brain, you have to realize multiple things... 1 - yes it is going off. 2 - Yes it is YOUR car... and 3 - Get your ass in clothes and downstairs to figure out what's up. And let's face it, by the time you get to 3 either your car is gone (no such luck this morning at 1:30) or the crap that was in your car which was the real reason for the break in is gone and you'll never get that shit back (most likely, at least in this area). In any event, the going off for 15 min at 1:30 this morning (accompanied with bigdogbark!) then blessed silence for about 15 min. Then another 15 min of that wailing noise. I was ready to kill someone because even with all the windows shut, earplugs in and a pillow over my head I could hear it. Bastards. Just get lojack or some kind of gps tracking onstar bullshit and cope.

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