God Help Me

Why am I always the dumb bastard who:
* Is sitting in the only lane of traffic that is not moving. I sit there like an idiot while other commuters speed past me on their way to their own private hells.
* Changes lanes thinking that I'll get into a faster one, only to find that traffic has ground to a halt in my new lane.
* Finds a good song on the radio, only to discover that it is almost over and the next song that comes on makes me want to stab myself in the ear with a pen.

Just wondering.