Bloody Booger
I was watching an old episode of The Newlyweds - I have a morbid fascination with Jessica Simpson - and she was complaining about having a bloody booger. I was like, I hear ya, sistah! but Nick and CaCee (what kind of fucked up spelling is that anyway?) were acting like they didn't know what she was talking about. Whatever.
There is no way you can live in Southern California and never have had a bloody booger. We have freaking Santa Ana* winds today. They wreak havoc on my mucus membranes. I want to stick my finger in my nose right now and pull out the booger that sends a shooting pain straight into my eyeball every time I breathe or move my face. The wind is making my throat all scratchy, too. And every now and then I am taken over by a hacking cough the likes of which have not been seen since the death of my "two packs a day and a fifth of whiskey can't hurt you" grandfather.
*Santa Ana winds: Relatively warm, dry winds that blow into Southern California coastal areas from an anticyclone** located over the high deserts of California or Nevada. The warmth and dryness are due to compressional heating.
**What the fuck is an anticyclone?
There is no way you can live in Southern California and never have had a bloody booger. We have freaking Santa Ana* winds today. They wreak havoc on my mucus membranes. I want to stick my finger in my nose right now and pull out the booger that sends a shooting pain straight into my eyeball every time I breathe or move my face. The wind is making my throat all scratchy, too. And every now and then I am taken over by a hacking cough the likes of which have not been seen since the death of my "two packs a day and a fifth of whiskey can't hurt you" grandfather.
*Santa Ana winds: Relatively warm, dry winds that blow into Southern California coastal areas from an anticyclone** located over the high deserts of California or Nevada. The warmth and dryness are due to compressional heating.
**What the fuck is an anticyclone?
3 Comments:
That's really gross. I continually find new reasons to love San Jose.
Hey what's with the "two packs a day and a fifth of whiskey can't hurt you" comment. You make it sound like a bad thing. I've been doing that for the last 15 years and other than occasionally coughing up blood I'm perfectly fine.
I wasn't condemning, I was just clarifying which grandfather it was. My other grandfather is known as "Holy Christ, my wife is fertile."
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