Saturday, January 01, 2005

Bored Drunk

When I get drunk I get slutty. I get slutty and I tell all my secrets. Getting drunk alone in my living room watching pay-per-view is not conducive to either of those things. I didn't turn into a sad drunk, more like a bored drunk. After a few drinks, I was just like, eh, what's the point? As much as I like to joke about it, looks like I am not cut out to be an alcoholic. What good would I be if I can't even drink alone?

3 Comments:

Blogger Joanne said...

I think that may be what actually drove me out of my house. The fact that drinking alone in my apartment on New Year's Eve is pathetic. I couldn't cope with being THAT girl.

1:55 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Becoming an alcoholic requires an enormous of amount of time, patience and hard cash. Alcoholism is not for the merely curious.

Trust me, concentrate, persevere and you too can reap the many and varied benefits of being a drunk:

1. Flirting outrageously with your flatmate (despite the fact that you're not even remotely attracted to her) until she becomes afraid and almost cries.
2. Arguing for well over three hours with your friend about who is the least successful with women. And winning.
3. (My personal favourite) Telling your bosses boss that he has risen to his level of incompetence in the organisation and will never, ever be promoted again.

All of this (and much, much more) can be yours if you empower yourself with alcohol...

10:34 AM  
Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

Haha! I get slutty and tell all my secrets too! I swear, I have no concept of discretion when I'm drunk. At least when I'm being slutty my mouth is otherwise occupied so I can't be telling it all. Happy New Year, Michelle!

12:51 AM  

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