Monday, January 24, 2005

My Morning, by Michelle

I roll over and see by the red glow of the alarm clock that it is still an ungodly hour and I have plenty of time for sleeping before I need to get up and get ready for work. I snuggle deep into the covers and close my eyes. I am asleep for maybe a few seconds before I am awakened by the worst noise in the world to be heard by a wife whose husband is not presently in the house: a heaving dog.

Please only let him have something caught in his throat. Please, please, please. Nope, that is definitely the sound of puking. I turn on the light in time to catch the boy dog upchuck a second time in his bed. There's no way he could have just leaned over a bit and puked on the much easier to clean hardwood floor, is there? I yell at the dog as he starts to lick it up. That is more than I can handle at the moment.

I lay there for a minute, thinking about what I need to do now. This happened to the girl dog a couple months ago, so I know how to take apart the bed and that it is washable, but what a pain in the ass. I get up and let the dogs out. The boy dog starts the horking sounds again in the hallway so we run to the door. I go back and drag both beds from the bedroom to the laundry room, trying not to touch the pukey part.

I unzip the cover on the outer bolster and throw it in the washer. I pull the pillow out of the middle and stuff it in, too. Wow, the boy's bed fills the whole machine. The girl's bed fit much better. I put the soap in and go to take a shower before turning on the washer.

The boy dog seems fine, a little cough now and then, but no more puking. Still, to be safe, they aren't getting the run of the house today. Sounds like the washer is done so I go to the laundry room to put the bed in the dryer.

The evil glisten of a puddle of water meets me at the door. Lovely. The washer overflowed. At first I think I am an idiot for stuffing that pillow into the washer. Then I notice all of the clumps of dog hair in the water and think I am an idiot for not vacuuming it off first. Maybe the dog hair clogged up the works. I open the washer and pull out the pillow. Except for the part that was right where the water comes out, it is completely dry! Apparently, this one is totally waterproof and repelled the water right out of the washer and onto the floor.

I am tempted to just leave the giant puddle of water and call the housekeeper to come clean it up, but as much as I want to be, it turns out I am not that kind of person. I mop up the floor with towels, pulls out the dryer and mop up underneath it. I see a power strip on the floor lying in the dampness. That can't be good. I decide to leave it alone. I pull out the washer, but it doesn't go far. I mop up the best I can and leave all the towels on the floor to deal with later.

I arrive at work, looking forward to a yummy breakfast but when I open up my desk drawer, I see that I am out of oatmeal.
Oh, and I am so not taking care of those dog beds when I get home. I am stopping at the pet store and buying new ones. I am THAT kind of person.

10 Comments:

Blogger Joanne said...

I'm that person too. I totally would've chucked the beds and bought a new one. Vomit is too yucky to cope with.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Looks like the dog was eating twigs last night.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Yankeebob said...

Geez, your morning sucked. I hope the day has been better.

So how did cleaning up puke become the guys job? That's how it is in my house too. (I have 2 cats.) I don't mind it too much, but I find it to be a strange phenomena.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Sounds like you'll be in the perfect mood to confront your boss. When you look at her, just think "puke."

9:49 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Cleaning up the puke and poop and the husband's job in my house, because if it were up to the wife, there would be no dogs. However, the husband got the boy dog when we were dating so I couldn't do anything about it. If the girl dog makes a mess, I feel a little more compelled to make a halfhearted offer to clean up because I suggested we get her. However, it was only so that the boy dog would have company. Like I said, if it were up to me, we'd have no pets.

10:06 AM  
Blogger TerraT said...

My cat threw up this morning just as I was leaving for work and I immediately thought, "I have three options. One: kill her and be late for work. Two: clean up and be late for work or three: just leave. I banged my head on the wall for a minute but then I just left. I'm THAT kind of person.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

If I could go back in time, I would go with option three, too.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Putnawa said...

I dream of being the type of person who calls the housekeeper, but really I'm the type of person who dreams about killing the cats and calling the housekeeper while throwing away the old beds to make way for the new ones I'll buy on the way home.

My sister, on the other hand, is the kind of person to leave all of her pets behind (with my parents, her ex-husband, whatever). And they're her pets!!

2:38 PM  
Blogger Bubba said...

YIKES!!! What a morning, baby! Just think, you could have come here and froze your lips off, instead! (Not really, it's only -1 F, right now)

The power strip should be fine, as long as the water didn't get too high inside it... If it had, the breaker should have tripped, anyway (hopefully).

I didn't like those beds, anymore, anyway.

4:33 PM  
Blogger cat said...

at last! i have been trying to comment all bloody day..

when my dog throws up it's either on my couch or on shawn's side of the bed. never my side. only his. and this will happen if we go somewhere and forget to close the bedroom door. or, if we're up and he starts gagging she makes a beeline for the couch and tries to jump up on it. we try and herd her to the backdoor. dumb dog.

our whole apartment is hard wood floors, but she chosed hard to clean areas. sigh.

sorry your morning was pukey :(

7:11 PM  

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