Where's Sigourney Weaver?

I have finally figured it out. It is the only explanation for officemate's behavior. He speaks in complete monotone. This is to put you in a trance so you eventually lose consciousness. If he tries to smile, it looks more painful sticking toothpicks in one's eye. And today he came in early (for him-9:30AM) and sat at his desk. It is now 2:30PM and he has not moved. Not once. Since I ate lunch at my desk, I have been here the whole time. He has not budged. Not even to take a bathroom break. This is not normal. It can only lead me to one obvious conclusion: My officemate is an alien.