Monday, February 07, 2005

Choose Your Own Termination

Dear Volunteers,

You are fired. Below is a list of reasons. Pick the reason(s) that apply to you, and never come back.

  1. You resent me because I'm straight. (This reason is so dumb you're fired twice.)
  2. You don't show up for your shifts. Ever.
  3. You sexually harass the drop-ins.
  4. You speak to me in a condescending manner. (For the record, I am too smart for this job. There are other factors at play here that are, quite frankly, none of your frickin' business.)
  5. You've made the mistake of thinking I'm nice and that I like you. (This is unforgivable. Please move to Portland. Portland, Maine.)

I hate you people. Get out and let me start from scratch.

3 Comments:

Blogger Kate the Peon said...

I love reading the posts and trying to figure out whose they are.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

Ok, I know I'm not part of this whole P&B crew, but I really need to complain about something...

I am sick and bloody tired of Melbourne and the fact that it rains here very god damned day of the year. That is the reason I left Ireland! Australia's is supposed to be hot!!!

I need to move somewhere else, I really do...

2:05 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

All complaints welcome.

2:20 PM  

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