Dear Employees

If you are not going to be bothered to read the information packet and/or the many, many emails we sent during our open enrollment period to let you know the changes, I cannot be bothered to answer your stupid ass questions about said changes. In fact, I may push you down my stairs just because you have pissed me off. Also, if your question is going to take 10 - 15 minutes to answer, please do not come into my office at 11:59 or 4:29. You cut into 'me' time.
Thanks,

Your vaguely friendly neighborhood HR office.