Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Open Casting Call

Anyway, now that those three are gone, let’s get those spots filled, people! We need three new contributors at Peevishness and Botheration. The time has come for auditions. Don’t be nervous, kiddies. I will be kind.

Ha! That was a good one.

The ultimate decision maker in the process will be me and the criteria I will use are secret. Current contributors are welcome to give me input on the candidates. I am not sure how many rounds of auditions I will hold. It depends on the response. However, don’t think that if only three people want to join the blog that those three automatically make it.

Auditions: Round 1
I know you have peeves and bothers. You wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t. Give me your biggest pet peeve, including title, as a comment to this post. You will do well to keep in mind the overall tone of this blog and the average length of the posts. Good luck!


Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Don't get weirded out. I am going to periodically change the time on this post to keep it near the top. I had no idea today would be such a peevy day for us all.

11:07 AM  
Blogger JuJubee said...

Does he bite?

Dear Mother of the Child on a Leash,

If your son is seriously so out of control that you need to attach his 35 pound body TO A LEASH, then maybe he would be better off at home in his cage, lapping up water from a bowl.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...


Dear motherfucker:
Not only are you totally gross for eating fish for dinner last night, but did you really have to spoon that slimy nastiness into a Glad Press N' Seal container and bring it to work today? And did you have to nuke it in the microwave for 2 and a half minutes and stink the ENTIRE office up? This isn't the OB/GYN office here...do we really need to have the stink of bacterial vaginosis lingering in the air for the next five hours?
P.S. It's okay to eat SHELLfish, but never okay to microwave it. Thank you for your attention. Now get back to work.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Putnawa said...

I hate stupid questions, and all your questions are stupid.

It was bad enough when I just saw you around town:
Idiot: What are you doing?
Me: Reading. (Wasn't it obvious with the book I'm holding in front of my eyes?)
I: What are you doing later?
M: Still reading.
I: What are you reading?
M: Can you see the cover?
I: Yes.
M: Then you know.

But now you're hanging out at my new job and you're driving me nuts. Before you were just being nosy, but now you're being passive-agressive.

I: How can I sign up for shifts if there's no schedule?
M: You can't.

If you need me to post a new schedule, then freakin' ask me to create a new schedule. My answers to your crappy questions will become increasingly rude, ending in me stabbing you in the throat. Fair warning.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Note to candidates:Round 1 will end at 10 AM PST tomorrow. At that time I will comment on your entries and post the Round 2 rules.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Kate the Peon said...

You've got some nerve.

Yeah, you. Who do you think you are, setting up auditions? Goddess? What, like I'm a flea you can train to do tricks? Jump when you clap? Bark when you snap?

Well, I've got news for you, missy. I'm sick and tired of having to follow instructions all the time. Can't anything ever just be given to me? Why do I have to work work work my tuchkus off just for the simple pleasures that others enjoy just because they breathe?

I'm sick of it, I tell you. And I will not go silently.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Oh, KtP, you take a big risk. I wonder if it will pay off for you. I also wonder where you were on November 27th when I was giving it away for free?

1:57 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Also... Jump!

1:57 PM  
Blogger Kate the Peon said...

On the 27th, I was at my parents' house being all thankful and shit.

Where were YOU on that date?

2:09 PM  
Blogger Cindy-Lou said...

Dude, Jen totally gets my vote. That was great.

3:02 PM  
Blogger HG said...

Why Yes, She DOES Drink from a Bowl

While I'm thrilled that your perfect parenting skills have made your little champ just peachy with walking alongside you without a tether or a leash, I can not claim such magnificence. Bully for you!

My child, on the other hand, likes to run and dart and perform other such bothersome toddlerlike antics. Rather than subject your ears to the shrieks of a 35 pound, two-year-old diva when I attempt to restrain her in a stroller or hold her hand, I compromise and put her on a tether, a leash if you will. This gives her the freedom she craves, while giving me the peace of mind I need.

I could say that I'm lucky that my pride does not to get in the way of my need to keep my child safe. Or I could be honest and say, what the fuck do you care how I choose to keep my child safe? Don't use one if you don't want to and shut your piehole about parents who do.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Putnawa said...


I'm not sure if HG was entering the contest or not, but she sure as hell gets my vote. That went beyond peeviness-and-botheration and approached Smackdown!

4:17 PM  
Blogger HG said...

It was an entry. And maybe, just a wee bit of a smackdown ;) Touchy subject. Heh.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

If owning a dog is supposed to prepare you to be a parent, this is what I have learned:
1- Never let them off the leash unless they are fenced in.
2- Muzzle them when you take them to the doctor.
3- Put them in the cage if they can't be trusted in the house.
4- They like to eat boogers.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

I figured HG was a man.

4:31 PM  
Blogger HG said...

I'm a woman. Last time I checked anyways. Apparently gender can be tricky. My four year old daughter informed me just last night that she was a boy when she was born.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

OK, I'm liking HG more and more!

5:23 PM  
Blogger peachy said...

Did somebody call me?

Just Peachy

5:00 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...

Hi P. Michelle,
I await with bated breath your decisions on the candidates ending round one.
I have so many things to be pissy about and I hope to be able to share them with you and your readers soon.
Stay cool,

6:08 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Peachy and Jen####, if you want to audition, you better get your peeves in by 10 AM!

8:51 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Oh, I see that Jen#### has replaced just Jen. Never mind.

8:56 AM  
Blogger JuJubee said...

I wish HG would make her profile public, you know, in the spirit of smackdowness...it's hard to carry on a smackdown with an anon. Hey, there's another peeve!

9:40 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

A HINT: Check out my referring pages on the left. You can usually figure out who the anons are.

9:46 AM  
Blogger HG said...

Didn't realize that it wasn't public - oops. Should be fixed now.

9:50 AM  
Blogger peachy said...

I'm just a voyeur. I'm not auditioning. I was hoping YB would apply, but I guess he decided not to this time around.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Peachy, I hope you start commenting more often. Your blog was cracking me up.

11:21 AM  

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