Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Too little, too late

Dear Not-for-Profit Organizations,

Thank you for several years of employment, and the continued consideration of my résumé. I have always felt it was important to give back to my community through my formal employment and you have allowed me to do so for many years.

Recently, however, you seem to balk at placing me on the payroll. While I sit here listening to a training workshop for non-profit leaders, I realize you are all morons. I know all the information being presented today. Worse than that, I could present the information better than these speakers. This leads me to the conclusion that I could actually fill your crappy, underpaid positions with ease, perhaps even exceeding your expectations. However, it is too late. I hate you.

It's been nine months now, and I'm done. I'm not going to apply for a single non-profit job. I am also not going to volunteer for you. I don't care if those poor little children will get nothing. Find some other sucker. (Or email Joanne, because she's nicer than I am.)

Furthermore, when I am rich and famous, I will not give you money. I will not donate my time nor my name to your cause. In fact, when asked, I will tell people it is wrong to support non-profits. It isn't, but I'm an ass. Get over it. And, when I see your little minimum-wage peons crawling around the street corners begging for money or contact information or whatnot, I'm going to kick them.

So now I'm headed to the corporate world for work. I'm going to make more money that I have managed to do so far, and I'll be considerably less fulfilled by my work. But I don't care anymore. You've sucked the compassion right out of my soul. I hope you're happy.

Kiss my ass,

P.S. This is my last job-search peeve. Promise.


Blogger Joanne said...

You read the archives. You know that about 74.32% of my early peeves were job search related. It is just what happens when searching for a job... it becomes an obsession.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Putnawa said...

That's true, I did read the archives. And I am obsessed.


3:43 PM  

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