Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Count Your Lucky Stars 2

Dear Fuckhead in the gray Maxima (I'm not joking, it really was a guy in a gray Maxima just like Heather's dude),

You are one lucky son-of-a-bitch today. You should be thanking me for obeying the speed limit, otherwise you would have been caught doing at least 50 through a school zone. Instead, you tailgated me past a speed trap, zoomed around me when the turn lane opened up barely missing the left side of my bumper, and shot me one nasty look on the way by.

Well fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck your sister/wife, fuck your inbred child and fuck your dog you mullet-wearing, NASCAR-wannabe-driving, white trash (What kind of self respecting white trash drives a Nissan Maxima anyway?) douchebag.



Blogger Chatty said...

Brandon darling, you just lost about ten points with me. I drive a Nissan Maxima and white trash...far from it sweetie. Oh, and it's gray too.

5:35 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Come on, Chatty. Admit it - it was you both times.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

Chatty, I think you missed the point. It looks to me like Brandon was saying that the Maxima was too good for white trash.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Brandon said...

Michelle is right, that is exactly what I was trying to say. A Maxima isn't my idea of a white trash ride, but I could be wrong, sweetie.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous sarcastrix said...

One time I drove my boss's boss's Black Nissan Maxima into a brick wall. That has nothing to do with this post.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Chatty said...

Yes Rachel - my lead foot always gets the best of me. My quick tongue doesn't.

2:38 PM  

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