Memo: To All So. Cal. Drivers

From: Heather

When you get in your car, and notice those drops of water falling from the sky and hitting your windshield, that is called rain. Please note that when it rains, you must refrain from going 85 miles per hour, swerving in and out of traffic, tailgating, breaking at the last minute, all while speaking on your cell phone. If you can follow this simple rule, it will make commuting in the rain much easier, and it will not take two fucking hours to get to work!

Thanks for your cooperation.