Another letter to alien officemate

Alien officemate, it's bad enough that you work part time hours (actually the less I see of you, the better, but that is not keeping with the theme here). But since you come in so late everyday, why do you have to start off with personal phone calls sorting out the latest money transaction of the day? You live two minutes away. Can't you settle your (fill in any choice of: mortgage bill, insurance bill, auto transaction, latest frivolous purchase) before you come in? What do you do all morning at home--play with yourself?