Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Round 1 Feedback

I will start by revealing something I judge: grammar and spelling.

Jujubee: A nice start in the auditioning process and I applaud your courage in going first. When I post a peeve in the form of a letter to someone, I like to sign it with “Thanks, Michelle” like the person is really going to comply with what I asked or like I am really thanking the person for being an ass. It adds that special little touch. If you were to join the peeves blog, you would be discouraged from posting solely about your kid, your kidlet or your pregnancy. Those are fine, but we would need to see some variety. I am looking forward to your Round 2 audition.

Let me just add here, that I feel like the judge on a reality show. Hopefully I am not coming off like any of the judges on American Idol.

Jen3000: Hey ya! Ok, so I can totally feel your peeve. In fact, it is very similar in subject to a peeve I posted awhile back. Duplicate peeves are fine. We have approximately 219 posts about office climate control. I herald your vitriol, your adherence to the rules and your proper letter format. Three things. One, while profanity is acceptable here at the peeves ranch, the level of profanity must fit the level of the peeve. For instance, my recent post about commuting needed a high level of profanity due to the fact that one day I will murder someone on the highway. I would probably save a greeting such as “Dear Motherfucker” for something truly heinous. In this instance, perhaps a “Dear Stinkass” would have worked or something that evoked the putrid smell you had to endure. Two, it is never ok to use the phrase “bacterial vaginosis” on this blog. Three, while it is definitely ok to send me up when I deserve it or to make fun of me for liking Hello Kitty, I did post within the past week about a particularly delicious salmon special that I enjoy on occasion, so by calling anyone who eats fish “totally gross,” I think you encompassed most of the contributors on this blog. Still, you show promise and it will be interesting to see your entries in Round 2.

Matthew: Your entry has all the elements of a classic peeves post: a recapped conversation, a moron, a throat stabbing. Well done. A few things were unclear to me, though. Is the first line of your entry supposed to be the title? If so, ok. If not, then you did not follow the rules. Shame on you. Second, was this like a random guy you saw on the street and now he is stalking you by working where you work? Also, you had a spelling error.

Kate the Peon: Points for your unconventional entry. However, I posted within the last month about how much I hate the use of Jewish words in normal conversation. Your use of the word “tuchkus” here falls into that category. Now dance, monkey, dance.

HG: An excellent entry. I definitely felt the heat of your rant and I was a little bit on your side. I particularly enjoyed your use of the phrases “bully for you” and “piehole.” I know that your peeve was in response to Jujubee’s, but you get the same feedback I gave her. If you were to join the peeves blog, you would be discouraged from posting solely about your kids.

Peachy: As peeves go, that one was horrible. Not good. Since it is past 10 AM, you don’t get a second chance at Round 1. However, feel free to continue on to Round 2, but you better make it good!

I will leave you all with one of my favorite South Park sayings. “Whatever! I’ll do what I want.”

7 Comments:

Blogger Joanne said...

It is wrong, but I feel some glee over Matty P's misspelling of aggressive. I won't say anything about anyone elses, but I know MP so I feel it is okay for me to tease. :)

10:16 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...

I NEED PRIVACY

Dear Girl on the Elevator:
Yes, you.
I know that you know that I work on the first floor, and I also know that you work on the fourth floor. I am only coming up to the fourth floor so that I can use the bathroom, as there are too many women using the bathroom on the first floor. I need privacy. Stop looking at me funny, it's not like it's YOUR bathroom.
Piss off,
Jen14221
P.S. And yes, that WAS me that just farted.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Michelle, in keeping with the spirit of the blog you should want to come off as an AI judge--Simon would be perfect for this, i.e. "You are what this competition is all about. You're through to the next round." Or, "That was absolutely one of the worst posts I've ever read. Dreadful. Bloody dreadful." Or, "Did you pay for your writing lessons? If so, hire a lawyer and sue your teacher."

10:24 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Jen14221, are you related to Jen3000?. Do all Jens have bodily function issues?

10:27 AM  
Blogger Peeved Michelle said...

If no one gets my Jen3000 joke, I am going to be a little sad.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...

I get it, and I am totally shakin' it over here!

10:42 AM  
Blogger Putnawa said...

Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. I knew you were judging on spelling and grammar, and still I mis-typed "aggressive". But I did follow the rules. The first line is a (somewhat long) title. This guy is a random TBT* that I see on the street too often, and he drops in at the community center where I work and tries to pick up the odd front desk volunteer shift.

*Tragic Bar Trash

1:23 PM  

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