The Peevery is Back!

It seems as if 99% of all traffic is now being directed to the brand new blog. So go there. Quit coming here.

The Peevery

P.S. Other recent posts can be found by clicking on the archives links on the right in case you missed anything.

The Peevery is Gone?!

Have we been booted off our domain? Stupid Internet pirates seem to have kidnapped thepeevery.com. I wanna read some archives and click some links in the blogroll. But NO, thepeevery.com seems to be no more.

Pffflbbt.

The grassy knoll

I alternate between three radio stations on my drive to work. How is it even possible that all have gone to commercials at the same time? HOW? And is Lee Harvey Oswald really dead?

A gentle warning

If I find another blue glob of Colgate in the sink, there will be a very serious accident here in Lockport, New York.

Stupidity Abounds

Let's say there are two versions of the same document in a folder. One version is dated 8/2005. The other is dated 10/2005 and is clearly marked 'updated.'

Is there really a need for TWO separate emails to me alone (not counting all the inner email bullshit) asking which version to use?

The Shut-It-Down Ratio

I have already honked my horn at five different jackasses while driving today. Two of those bastards got double honks for their incredible idiocy, bringing us up to a grand total of seven honks in 30 miles of driving, which breaks down to one honk for every 4.28 miles driven. That brutal ratio is the reason that I have absolutely no motivation to go anywhere but my couch for the rest of the night.

Shocking

I don't mind winter. But I do wish the static electricity would go away. I just shocked myself so badly that the resulting spark could have provided light for an entire 3rd world country.

Bad feeling...

There is little worse than talking on the phone to a slow talker, trying to explain a not really complicted retirement thing to them and having that sudden feeling that if you don't go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW there was going to be a lot of problems in the office. Really, what's the professional way to say "Um I'd love to help you but right now I have to GO I'll call you back in 10 no make it 20."

O! Target! How hast thou failed me?

This dress, currently on sale at Target, is the same exact style as a dress I wore to a homecoming dance in high school. I believe the year was 1989. Mine was black with a floral print, but I did so love the pouf at the bottom.

Phone Calls

I work 7.5 hours a day. (That is the standard for my college this is full time.) On most given days the phone does not ring but maybe once or twice - five times would be a BUSY day for me. For some reason today whenever anyone has been in to talk to me, the phone rang a minimum of 3 times each person.

Also, completely unrelated, between not eating too much the last 3 days, doing a lot of physically demanding work on Sunday and drinking far too much Sunday night, my stomach is a little unhappy with me. Poor stomach, I suppose I deserve all it is dishing out right now.

Multi-Tasking? More like running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I realize that any administrative position is going to require a certain ability to multi-task. It comes with the territory. In fact, I get bored if I don't have to multi-task. Three or four things on the go at once? No problem. But my job description keeps expanding to the point where I'm trying to run in twelve different (i.e. entirely unrelated) directions at once. How on earth do you expect me to keep everything from falling through the cracks? Here's an idea - hire a second person to take some of these things on so that I can concentrate on something for one damn second.

Velcro

I was watching a movie over the weekend (and I have absolutely no memory of the name of it) and this kid was a millionaire because he invented noiseless velcro. Given the 5 GIANT velcro straps on the boot (leg brace thing for my Achilles Tendonitis or as I referred to it recently I have Achilles Tendonitis in my Achilles Tendon), I totally wish there was such a thing. (I also kind of would like it if the pokey part didn't stick to EVERYTHING.) The only really funny thing about this velcro is that Tess (ferret) is both fascinated and frightened by it. She comes running when she hears the first strap to see what I'm doing then she hides then she comes back and then she hides. That part is kind of funny.

I guess I don't need a housekeeper after all.

All I need is for one of my relatives to threaten to come over at least once a week and then I will race around and get the house in order so that said relative will not think that we are slobs.

I Hate the Government*

Why is every other page of a government web site in .pdf format? Just make it a regular freaking HTML page already!


*Great, now this blog is probably flagged for monitoring for subversive activity.

Oscar pics.

So I go to MSN.com to see the Red Carpet pics since I missed the Oscars due to boozing it up with firefighters. So what do I see in the beginning. All these head shots. I know what Jennifer Aniston's face looks like I want to know if she's wearing a bad-for-her-coloring dress like Michelle Williams or if she looks like a bombshell like Jessica Alba.

Stick, damn it!

I bought the strips this weekend that you put on your teeth to make your teeth whiter. So yesterday, I break them out and get the one on my top teeth, no problem. But the one on my bottom teeth just does not stick well. And my hubby had the same problem. Great, now I'm going to have bright and shiny white top teeth, and half assed white bottom teeth. Sigh. Such is my life.

Mathematically Challenged

I need to review my math skills and stop using the fact that I am a teacher of English as an excuse. I think I got screwed in a major way while doing the check with friends at lunch today. I need to either brush up on my skills or carry a freaking calculator. Dumb ass.

Not a Peeve about the Husband

After reading some recent posts and comments here and on your own blogs, I have to say, my marriage is relatively calm and problem-free. My husband's assessment of it might be slightly different, especially considering that he caught me taking his last Diet Coke this morning because I was all out of Diet Pepsi, but at least I don't get woken up at 5 AM or yelled at for leaving dishes in the sink.

Memo: To All So. Cal. Drivers

From: Heather

When you get in your car, and notice those drops of water falling from the sky and hitting your windshield, that is called rain. Please note that when it rains, you must refrain from going 85 miles per hour, swerving in and out of traffic, tailgating, breaking at the last minute, all while speaking on your cell phone. If you can follow this simple rule, it will make commuting in the rain much easier, and it will not take two fucking hours to get to work!

Thanks for your cooperation.

Stardom

Joanne's post from 2/15 was quoted in an article in a newspaper (Cleveland's The Plain Dealer).

Never Have, Never Will

Try as I might, I just can't like Dave Matthews.

Seriously, Stupid

Read my fucking email before calling me to ask what the deal is. My email addressed everything and put the issue to rest; there was no need for you to fucking call me and ask what was going on.

Also, I don't care if you have 5 more classes to go before you get your MBA; had you not been a complete imbecile, you would have finished when I did - 11 months ago.

Jackass.

'fess up

Is there anyone who actually lies about his or her age? I don't lie about it. I might joke about it, but I don't have an issue with admitting that I am 31 and, even though I do joke about it, I don't even really care.

There is one blogger here who I know is sensitive about his or her age and who I would suspect of lying about his or her age to people who do not know him or her.

I really hate you!

Dear Fruit Loop,

1. We do cover 100% of tuition for 6 credits per quarter. Just because the IRS mandates we tax you on that is not our issue.
2. We do cover 100% of your medical/dental & vision. You don't pay for this coverage. You having a co-pay and a deductible does not change that. There is no company anywhere that I can think of that does not have you at least pay co-pays and deductibles. Get over it.
3. I don't care if her spouse does work here, your dentist is an idiot. It is bad business practices for the insurance to reject claims over and over just so they can 'hold onto their money.' She's clearly doing something wrong. (Especially if EVERY insurance company she has does this to her.)
4. You are not being deceived! Get a grip!

Thank you,
Your loving benefits office.

Hey Wednesday, your family is calling

We have this temp in our department, who reminds me of Wednesday Adams. She's got the dark hair and this sort of creepy air about her. If I'm on the phone and she has a question, she will just stand in front of my desk and wait for me to get off.

If I am in the middle of conversation with someone else, even when it's work related, she'll stand there and creepily wait. (Even if it's my boss, who is a VP)

But the thing she does that pisses me off the most, is when she comes to my desk for supplies or to use my label maker, which I have repeatedly told her she can borrow and return when she is done, but she then sits on the part of my desk that is behind me and does stuff. WTF? Do you want someone lurking behind you? Do you invite people you don't know, or like, to sit on your desk? How the hell am I supposed to goof off and post peeves with your nasty ass plopped on my desk?

You come back here one more time and I am so calling Gomez and Mortitia.

Legal-ass

Would it kill you to respond to email requests like a normal human being? Is it so hard to start a reply with "Dear so and so," maybe add a thank you or "sincerely" at the end? One terse sentence is not the proper way to respond to people, you tool! Is this what you learned in law school? No, it's just your personality, or lack thereof.

Damn Pencil Eraser!

What the hell is that annoying pencil eraser thing on the laptop keyboard and is there any way to disable it? I hate those fucking things!

Watching Little Girls With Bad Intent

In my first 28 years of life I don't think I ever heard the song "Hey, Aqualung" by Jethro Tull. Now that I listen to classic rock all day at work, I hear it once or twice every day. With my co-worker out sick for the last four days I was able to happily listen to other stations. But when I walked in this morning, classic rock was back on and, surprise, surprise, "Hey, Aqualung" was playing. God I hate that song. If I hear it again today, I might burn this place down or change the station.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

This morning I was talking with the other person who does new hire orientation with me. She asked the repercussions of doing it only once a month. I told her I'd have to do a lot more one on one benefit appointments to catch anyone who may have missed orientation and wouldn't want to wait the month until the next one. Apparently she & her boss (who is not my boss) have been discussing ways to make new hire orientation more meaningful. They want to go to a longer program but only once a month. This annoys me for so many reasons...
1 - It affects me yet I have not been in on the discussions.
2 - When asked for what she means by 'more meaningful' she couldn't really tell me.
but 3 - Told me to think about it.
4 - It is new hire orientation. It is supposed to be nuts & bolts. They get meaning from the Mission & Ministry thing.
We are not amused.

Gosh! Idiot!

I was just put through to a supplier named Chris on the phone, and Chris's voice answered "Chris [lastname]" very cheerily, so I started my conversation. "Hi, Chris, it's Rachel calling from..." and was interrupted with "...is on the phone. Please leave a message after the tone."

Bah! Stumped by the mighty voicemail nametag!

Dearest Husband,

When I wake during a work week at 5:00 am, I ever so quietly move through our bedroom so as not to wake you. I carefully shut the bathroom door so the bright lights do not disturb you. It's what I do for love.

Well, this is my school vacation week honey and I've really earned this well deserved respite. That said, since you have found it necessary to turn on every light, talk to the dog, blow dry your hair with the bathroom door open and lights glaring and toss the clothes you want to wear right on the bed, Monday morning is going to be a field day for me.

I will really need to watch the news at a reasonable volume for my hearing, I get dressed faster with some tunes blasting and I think my allergies and loud sneezing might be an issue after a week's rest.

You wanna play cowboy...saddle up.

With Love,

Chattykins