Friday, April 30, 2004

Ok so this one is a bathroom peeve... seriously, women, how hard is it to do a cursory check of the toilet to make sure everything that needed to flush flushed? It is just nasty going into a stall that still has stuff floating in the toilet. Flush a second time!

Right handed ladles are just a pain in the ass for us leftys! I wish the student center would get the generic kind. (and by right handed I mean that there is a pour spout on the left side of the ladle allowing a right handed person to easily pour the condiment onto the plate, into the cup etc...)
An interesting thing has happened to me at work. It is more difficult for me to pretend to work now that I have given notice. No one expects me to be making any progress on the project I was given a week ago, so I wonder what it is that they think I am doing? I am supposed to be revising some survey questions which is a one day job that I have managed to stretch out for the entire week. God only knows what the hell I am going to do next week.

Transferring all my files, emails, bookmarks and random other things probably won't even fill a whole day. After three and a half years here, you would think that I would have accumulated a lot of stuff but with each of the nine layoffs and associated internal moves I have been through, I divested myself of clutter, files and swag. I could grab my purse and walk out of here right now and I doubt it would make a difference. When I don't show up for the going away party, they might begin to suspect something.

I hate going away lunches. Everyone packs into the back of some restaurant. Half the group doesn't receive their orders until 45 minutes into it and the rest of the group is lucky if they get even a short chat with the departing co-worker. For mine, I think we will do a conference room cake (because a co-worker has offered to make my favorite spice cake) and a happy hour. Even if only my few work friends make it out for drinks, that is certainly better than enduring a lunch hour with thirty people, many of whom I will be glad to never see again. You know who you are, assface.
Heard on the way in this morning:
I just learned about salad tossing.

At least they got all the sheep off the freeway.

Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up
Shut it up. Just shut up. Shut up.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

What is the second worst thing Michelle has ever done?

I was just reminded of something mean I did once. In college, there was this girl named April who none of us really liked that much. She may have lived in our dorm or something. I forget how we knew her.

One day at lunch, she spotted us in the cafeteria. She said hi and set her tray down and then went off to get a drink. We were almost done, so we thought it would be funny if we all grabbed up our trays and left before she came back.

She didn't think it was that funny. Sometime later that week, she cornered me and told me how mean it was and that she sat there and cried. I apologized and said, honestly, that we weren't trying to be mean, that we just thought it would be funny.

I have learned two lessons from that day. First, people who demand apologies don't ingratiate themselves to me. I have much greater respect for the person who seeks revenge or just tells me that I acted like an ass and I better knock it off before I get a punch in the mouth. Second, I learned that people who are mean to their very core think that mean things are funny and that those things really are funny but they are also mean so you should be careful to whom you do them or you might get punched in the mouth.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Answers to questions:

I don't know where Adam's post is but I do know where his office is. I may have to stalk him this week.

I like our dog just fine. I could live without him but since he is around we probably should do our best to make sure he has a nice life. This seems to include getting him a girlfriend so that he isn't so lonely during the day. Unfortunately for Heather, this does not include taking on her poorly-trained, rowdy dog.
Um, and where is Adam's post? Did you kick his ass yet?

And why did you get another dog? I thought you didn't like the one you had. Besides, you could have had mine.

Monday, April 26, 2004

My dog has his own bitch now. We'll pick her up when we move to the new house. The kennel owner said that the dog and his new bitch got along very well. He does seem a bit more mellow now that he has been seeing some action.
It is my own fault for reading a message board... but if I have to read the word spelled ADD instead of AD when talking about advertisements again I may have to yell mean things...

Not really a peeve ok maybe one of myself... I was watching Plainsong on CBS last night... Hallmark Hall of Fame. I am such a sap. I'm crying half way through the movie at various scenes AND (worse and most embarrassing) at the Hallmark commercials... I will now hide my face in shame.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Joanne's Best Friday Ever

Called in by Joanne:
1- She wins in the contest of Joanne vs. Computer Repair Place. They agreed to fix her computer at no charge.
2- She is going out for drinks with straight people at a straight bar.
3- She got to leave work early.

Yay for her!
The Best Friday Ever

1- Our condo sold for $15k over the asking price. We had eight offers in two days.
2- I gave my notice at my crappy old job and am starting at my delicious new job in one month. I gave two weeks notice here, then I have a week off to get moved into the new house, then I have a week in Mexico before I start the new gig.

Adam does win a reprieve since he told me his house buying and selling drama. He eked out the merest amount of sympathy from me and now has until Midnight tonight to post his story. After that, let the asskicking begin.
Hey! Are we getting ready for an asskicking?! :)
1 - My hair is doing odd and slightly unattractive things this morning...

2 - I'm VERY tired... all my fault (see my blog...)

3. About 7 out of 10 times I've walked out of the bathroom recently I have encountered a person walking in and scaring me. Those who know me well know my highstrungness so this is a bother.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

ok, I'm peeved. Why wait until I leave the company to have drinks at lunch? What gives? Are things really that bad at Homs that you need to drink at lunch? Otherwise, I guess since the cat is away, the mice will play.
Drinks at lunch! Hooray for drinks! I had a rum and coke. The rest of the group had pints. I set this up as a recurring weekly meeting.

Peeves from pints:
1- The pub we went to for lunch smelled like smoke. I know what you are thinking. "Duh, it's a pub." But this is California and there is no smoking in bars or restaurants or basically anywhere there might be other people.
2- The waitress told three old guys that they were her favorite customers. We were like, "Hello? Sitting right here. Can totally hear you."
3- One drink is not enough to get me through the afternoon.
Noon on Friday, asspunk.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

peeve - don't include a hyperlink to an earlier post if it doesn't go directly to the fucking post. stop wasting our time and just say what you want to say. lazy ass blogger!!!
Ok girls. Pipe down. If it makes you feel any better, you aren't the only ones I am ignoring. I actually am very fucking occupied at the moment. In fact, I am currently experiencing a botheration that I will love to share at some point. And yes, it has to do with those good for nothing, money grubbing, blood sucking, ass face Realtors. Not the same ones as before, this time my Realtor and the Realtor representing the sellers of the house we are buying. More to come but long story short, we may not be getting our house nor closing on the sale of the house that we're selling. Everything is all fubar and on top of things, I am bombarded here at work. So please, cut me some effing slack momacitas.

And BTW - good luck kicking my ass! You've gotta try to catch me first!

Now on to the stories...

I believe that y'all chose assault. Therefore, here's the briefing on the other stories you passed up.

infidelity - I promised my current girlfriend at the time that I would never cheat on her, as this was something that she had been threw once before and she ended up extremely hurt. Well, surprise surprise, I hooked up with my ex shortly thereafter for a one nighter. I felt so bad afterwards that I broke up with the current girlfriend. I made up some story as to why I wanted to end it. Fortunately, she also thought that it was a good idea (phew). To this day, she doesn't know the truth. But there's a happy ending. I would have never married this woman and now she is happily married with children. Oh yeah, and if she found out, she probably would have kicked my ass.

dishonesty - Ok, I know what your thinking. Wasn't that last story about dishonesty? Well, yeah. But this one personifies it. I raided my best friend's baseball card collection and asked him if I could keep the cards (he wasn't much of collector and couldn't really appreciate what he had - so sad). When he asked me what the cards were worth, if I had taken anything that was valuable, I told him they were worth nothing and that I was only taking a few cards to complete my set. This was at the peak of the baseball card market (mid 80's) and at the time, the value of the cards that I took were worth around $100. What a sucker. Unfortunately, there is no happy ending to this story. My friend was later institutionalized for hearing voices in his head. When he finally "got better", he turned into one of those bible worshippers that takes the whole Book literally? You know, one of those crazy Jesus Bible lovers that constantly quotes scriptures and verses? Anyhow, our friendship dissolved. He would later try to become friends with me again and I would have to repeatedly tell him "no, its over man". I had to be really mean on occasion. Eventually, he stopped coming around.

broken trust - My Dad trusted me with his 1-year old, mint condition sports car. I was 16. I was dumb. I was OUT-OF-CONTROL... I totaled the car and my Dad didn't talk to me for 2 weeks. This is worst I have ever felt. Nothing is worse than when your Dad tells you he is disappointed in you.

assault - This is actually the longest of the stories. Do I still have until Friday at noon or have I satisfied your appetites enough?

OMG! I was just over in a different building here on campus and the stalls in the bathrooms were so ridiculously small. I am by no stretch of the imagination a small person, but on my left side my thigh was right up against the toilet paper dispenser and on my right side it was against the cold steel of the trash can. There was zero move room...

Maybe Adam has done nothing bad ever and just pretended to so you wouldn't yell at him? :) (ok I'm not buying that either... I'll fly down and help y'all kick his ass)
I am very disappointed in Adam this week. He promised a story of violence and bloodshed and has failed to deliver. He has until Friday at NOON to post What is the worst thing that Adam ever did? After that, I know three girls who are coming to kick his ass.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

If you have call waiting, you should either answer your call waiting or have voice mail that picks up the call waiting.
Nosy coworker came over to my desk and was trying to imply that she knew why I went to get a blood test this morning. I told her that I was fairly certain she had no clue and went back to typing whatever I was typing. She did not get the hint and continued on. I repeated that she was likely mistaken. She insinuated that she knew I was pregnant. I stared at her in a not so friendly manner to which she responded with, "Oh, well, just name it after me." What the fuck? How is it ever appropriate to grill a coworker about a medical procedure?

I normally try to be nice to this woman. Really. She is a nice person and means well, but what a nosy fucking bitch.

Also, I am not pregnant. I am not trying to become pregnant. And if you are secretly nosy enough to want to know why I need a blood test but you no longer have the nerve to ask me due to my rant, check out my post on February 10th.

Monday, April 19, 2004

And today on Satan's Computer Repair shop... Voicemail for the asshat Eric, boss of Developmentally Disabled Alonzo yet again. Tomorrow I ask for Eric's boss. This time it is personal. :)
I did a good deed today.

I had to go to the doctor's office to get some blood drawn. As I was about to head up the stairs, I noticed an older Mexican couple looking confused. The man looked just like my great-grandfather. Skin the color of a tobacco leaf. Straw cowboy hat.

I caught the man's eye and he motioned as if he needed help. Neither of them spoke any English. He showed me a paper that looked like a referral from one doctor to another. I found the doctor they were looking for on the directory and walk them to their doctor's office before heading to the lab. I was nice and friendly the whole time and I spared them any feeble attempts to try to speak to them in Spanish.

Then I got to the lab and found out that there was an hour wait so I went to lunch instead of having my blood drawn.

Friday, April 16, 2004

So I go to watch a rerun of Joan of Arcadia, that is actually a new episode for me because I missed this one... Survivor is on! WTF??!!
Adam (or other person to whom you may be referring) swears that he is actually working and does not have time to post his story yet. The reason I think that Adam is a big fat liar is the fact that he told this to me in an IM conversation that he started about a completely different topic.
You know, I think it bothers me when a person goes so far as to even post a POLL on a site about which story we would like said person to tell and when we do the poll, said person does not tell the story. Some of us need entertainment dammit!
They moved my mail slot to the very bottom so now I have to bend down to get my mail (which is worth it if it's good mail like the shirt I got today and not so worth it if it's crappy flyers from crappy companies trying to sell their crappy training seminars that our crappy company doesn't reimburse for). Crap.
Seriously. I'm 5 years old! I somehow got bacon grease on my shirt this morning at work. Ahh lovely.
Like a lot of men, Adam appears to be all talk and no action.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

I like stories about people getting hurt (plus I might get lynched if I don't pick assault). Adam, I'd also like to request a one-liner on the three other options, just to satisfy my curiosity and for ammunition when you run for president.
I change my vote to what Joanne said.
Infidelity - only if the person is/was your wife and not some random girlfriend, otherwise assault.
I would say my first pick Adam, would be a story of assault, followed closely by infidelity. Don't really care about the other two.
I vote for ASSAULT! I am bloodthirsty.
Choose Your Adventure - What is the worst thing Adam has ever done?

Let me preface what I'm about to disclose by saying that I've done a lot of bad things that I am not too proud of. All of these things happened years ago, before I matured into the corporate professional family man that I am today (I know what you're thinking... stop!). Therefore, I thought that I'd let y'all pick which story I write and I'll get back to you with the story after we agree on which one. Here are your choices:

1) A story of infidelity
2) A story of dishonesty
3) A story of broken trust
4) A story of assault

Those are the stories that come to mind that I wouldn't mind sharing. Pick one.

What is the worst thing Heather has done?

I'm in the same boat as Joanne, I'm such a goody two shoes. One thing that I do do consistently, is make fun of one of my friends behind her back. She lives in a mobile home, so whenever my hubby and I see big trucks carting them down the highway, we laugh and say "I guess Sonya* is moving again," or something stupid like that (* not her real name, like duh.)

Then one time I told Michelle one of her boyfriends was cute, but he wasn't.

And, I helped perpetuate our delusion that one day Michelle and I would marry Eric Karros and Mike Piazza.

Oh, one more thing, I told this girl in my writing class that her work was good.

And I told someone she didn't look fat in a certain outfit.

Let me think on it over night. I'm sure I'll remember something more evil.
What is the worst thing Joanne has done?

Okay Michelle doesn't believe that I've never done anything wrong and she's probably ultimately right. One could argue that my sucking up work time by not doing anything productive is a bad thing... and to some extent, yes, yes it is. However when my boss spends an hour organizing files in the shared drive, I know it isn't just me who has nothing to do...

Lets see, take your pick:

I drank before I was 21 (ok really, who didn't?)
I have a tattoo and have never told my parents (really who would?)
I have had sex and have let them believe I will be a blushing bride... (If you knew my parents you'd understand why)
I have high bitch tendencies with my mom. I justify it with the fact that she's batshitcrazy and spent much of my youth making me unhappy.

I guess now that I've thought about it awhile, I threatened my mother. It was in response to a threat of her own, and I was 14 at the time and tired... We (both my parents, my kid sister and I) were in Mexico wandering the alleys etc. My sister and I were poking at each other as young people will do. She was probably 10. For the record, she started it. (She ALWAYS started it.) And my mother, tired, looked at me and said if you don't cut that out I'm going to beat you. A common threat in those days. I looked at her squarely and said "do not make threats you cannot carry out." She never threatened me with that again. I don't even know if she or my sister remember it, but for some reason I do. I guess because that was the moment the balance of power shifted in our relationship. I was bigger than she was at that time, and stronger and she knew it.
What is the worst thing Nikki has done?

I told my brother and sister in all honesty that my parents were getting divorced because they couldn't stop fighting over my siblings' stupidity (brother got sent to jail, sister ended up in a convent school in Central America because she was brought home all strung out on acid by the police). I think I ruined their adolescence. My 28 year-old brother is now co-dependent (he and his girlfriend can't fart without the other wanting to know what's going on) and my 26 year-old sister is mean and pushes people away before they get a chance to love her. I on the other hand am extremely well-adjusted and remorseless. Ha ha.
If that is all that Joanne can come up with, I may have to kick her off this blog. The rest of you better have something good brewing.
I'm obviously too good. I can't think of anything I'd call the worst thing I've ever done. Seriously. I'm not just saying that. I've never slept with my best friend's boyfriend, I've never done drugs... damn I'd be boring in a game of 'I never'.

As to your story... I wouldn't feel bad. I've met Mona. She isn't nice. It is okay when you do bad things to not nice people. :D
What is the worst thing Michelle has ever done?

I had this monster crush on a guy named Scott in college (not the Scott I actually dated). The last semester of my senior year it looked like I might actually be able to make things happen with him. He was in one of my classes and we sometimes shared notes. He and I would run into each other at the gym and chat. We had some friends of friends in common. All my girlfriends knew I was super crush in love with him.

Several months after graduation, one of my girlfriends fake-named Mona came by my house on a Saturday morning. She had been out the night before but I hadn't run into her. She told me that she had gone home with Scott. She continued to tell me of her evening in excruciating detail. My terse replies and apparent disinterest had no effect on her. She didn't even get the hint when I started ignoring her and cleaning my living room. In fact, she took a nap on my couch when she was done telling me the story.

I know, so far this could be called "What is the worst thing Mona ever did?" A couple weeks later I found out that the reason Scott took Mona home was that he and his buddies were having a dog fight. Scott won. No, I didn't tell Mona. That isn't the worst thing I have ever done.

A month or two later, a bunch of us were going to Vegas for New Year's; my girlfriends and Scott's buddies, but no Scott. Mona was delayed in Seattle and only made it for a few days. She also had to leave early, but while she was there she developed a big crush on Scott's friend Rob. They did seem to be hitting it off. Before she left she asked me to say good things about her to Rob so that he would like her. I said I would. No problem.

Later that night, we were all walking down the strip, completely smashed and I said something obnoxious to Rob like, "You should hook up with Mona. She likes you." He said he would rather hook up with one of Mona's friend. Totally drunk and not catching a clue, I made him spell out which friend. Oh, right. Me.

I had no interest in Rob, but the more he tried to woo me the more I realized this would be the perfect revenge on Mona who I still hadn't forgiven. I didn't sleep with Rob, but we did fool around mightily. When we all returned home, I didn't tell Mona about it, but I told another girlfriend knowing that it would get back to Mona. She never mentioned it to me.

Hard to say if I feel bad about what I did or not.
Grr... Blogger ate my draft post. Someone posed this question to Joanne:

What is the worst thing you have ever done?

Please post your replies. I will start working on mine again. Grr...
Ok lets face it, I'm not allowed to own nice things. I apparently am too retarded not to break it. This morning's break. MP3 Player. Just the LCD screen so it still plays, of course I have no idea what it is playing or whatever. I'm going to try to get it fixed but you know how well THAT'S been going for me...

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

This morning I made my weekly visit to the hellmouth (staff meeting). We were fortunate enough to have a presentation today. My male boss swore that this presentation, which he has seen before, would get all of us excited about the upcoming enterprise-wide project. I realize now that he was playing fast and loose with the definition of "excited." This meeting wasn't different than any other meeting I have ever attended where someone talks about what we need to do to fix the company.

The following are some things heard at the meeting:
1. "unelegant" -- Although technically acceptable, I would expect someone with a Masters degree in English to use the more accepted "inelegant."
2. "uniquely different" -- This in from the Department of Redundancies Department.
3. "We need to eat our own dog food." -- WTF? Even given the context of the discussion, I still cannot decipher this one. I think it may be some bastardization of "you made your bed and now you have to lie in it" but I really don't know.
4. "This will be interesting to you analysts." -- This from the male boss who, again, seems not to have a good grasp of the definitions of common words.
5. "We need to work our butts off - excuse my French." -- Huh? Wuh? "Butts" is a bad word for four-year-olds, but beyond that age, I don't think you will find too many people who are offended by that statement.
6. "Die, die, die" -- Although this wasn't verbalized, I did hear it in my head.

The best part of the day so far has been when Nikki and I skipped out on the team lunch to welcome the new member of the team in order to go to Souplantation and Target.
I hate whistlers. Don't whistle while you work, asshat.
Re: Women on Women for Adam

For the free w-o-w action, I suggest you hang out in clubs where college girls go. I remember one particular time, right after college, when I was attending the bachelorette party of a friend. The future bride had on a veil of course and, for some reason, the rest of us were each handcuffed to a partner using those fake, plastic handcuffs. There were eight to ten girls, smashed and handcuffed in pairs, dancing and fending off the guys all night. Granted, I don't recall that any of made out with each other, but isn't the suggestion that this could happen at any second enough to do it for you?

Otherwise, you may have to start asking your wife if she has any hot friends.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Re: Women on Women

I like a little woman-on-woman action, don't get me wrong. However, if there's one thing that disgusts me it's how every time I actually witness this action in public, it's always between two really ugly, butchy chicks. I'd rather watch "Nick and Jessica" than a couple of Rosie O'Donnell wannabe, fuzz bumpin', lumberjack lookin', mullet wearin' biker dikes suck face. Save it for the bedroom lezbos!

I guess you have to pay for the good stuff. Why do all the hot lezbos just stay at home and do porn or "dance" at bachelor parties? What a shame.

If anyone has any tips on where and how to witness hot, live, FREE W-O-W action, please let me know.

It's all true, every word of it! And to make matters worse, for the next meeting, we're supposed to take some self-evaluation tests and then bring the results so that we can talk about them together (personal discovery). Here's a question from one of the tests:
I worry about whether other people like to work with me.
a. Completely true
b. Mostly true
c. Somewhat true/false
d. Mostly false
e. Completely false
Can a stepford wife and someone with the attention span of a gnat help me discover myself? Luckily I'll be in NYC re-discovering my love for martinis on the day the next lunch is scheduled for.
I have found something more boring and painful than my job. It took me several weeks, but I did it.

My boss scheduled a meeting called Women on Women... believe me, it is nowhere near as fun as it sounds, if that is your thing. Just so that you don't think that I make this stuff up, here is the body of the meeting invite.

WOW is a way to share ideas, goals, strategies, and successes with other women - the women we work with. This first meeting is to see if there is enough interest in such a group, and to decide how to pick topics for each meeting. We'll select a restaurant as the day approaches - the idea location would provide either a round table, or a comfortable enough setting for us to talk openly.

The first topic will be to bring a quote you'd like to share with the rest of the group. It doesn't have to be a famous quote, or even a documented one - it could be what your mother always said to you, that now you've found to be true. Anything goes.

So at this meeting are two middle-aged ladies and three of us in the 29 year old range. One of the 29-ish peeps is Nikki. The other is a girl I don't like very much. The two middle-aged ladies are on and on about life goals and choices and their inspirational quotes. Holy Christ. I tried not to look at Nikki for much of it, for fear that I would be unable to resist the urge to roll my eyes. The other girl was clearly uncomfortable with silence and would ask the first lameass question to come to her head every time there was a pause. Also, I don't think she grasped the concept of how the choices you make can affect the outcome of your life. She seemed to be of the mind that things are preordained or, say it with me, "meant to be." What a load of crap.

On the way back to work, Nikki and I, who were lucky enough to drive separately from the others, determined that we would never go through that again. I thought I would just decline the meeting request the next time my boss sent it out. Unfortunately, she set up a recurring meeting for future Women on Women tournaments, I mean lunches. I think I am going to go with the advice of my cube neighbor and accept the invite but be a no-show on the day of the lunch.

Christ, that was painful.
This is the only line I remember from City Slickers:
"If hate were people, I'd be China."

Juice Fast Drama has started up again. See link at right.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Ok. So 99.9% of the time I like it when my boss leaves me alone, but she has me organizing this benefits fair and I have never done this. I need a tiny bit of direction please...

Computer... I can't even begin...
Asshat not only schedules a 9 am meeting for a Monday after a holiday, but then shows up 15 min. late for it not even prepared. I would have left, but the SVP of Finance showed up just as I was getting ready to go. Asshat finally showed a coupled min. after that. I hate that asshat with the burning rage of a thousand virgins stood up on prom night.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Happy Easter!

Now, for the peeves...
1- I am still Catholic enough to feel quite guilty for not having gone to church much in the two years since we've lived in Santa Clarita. I place full blame on the sucky priest at the church near us. He is the most boring priest I have ever had the misfortune to hear. Also, the church ladies there are like tyrants. If you don't make it into a pew before mass starts, they won't let you into the church until after the gospel. I hope the church by the new house is better. I miss Father Jim in Camarillo (the one from my wedding for those of you who were there). He at least attempts to make the homily relevant and the readings understandable.
2- I am definitely Catholic enough to feel guilty for not going to church on Easter Sunday. Next year, we will participate in all the Lenten activities. I promise.
3- My mom wants me to go visit my aunt in the convalescent hospital today. I don't want to. If she is getting out in a couple weeks anyway, what is the point of me seeing her in this place? She has lots of visitors, so she isn't lacking for company. I'd rather wait and visit her when she is back at her own house.
4- Every square inch of the downstairs is covered in tile dust, including the once clean laundry that I stupidly left on the couch.

Friday, April 09, 2004

Notice how on my timeline posted earlier today I was naive enough to think that I would get home at 2:30? Well, that is certainly not what happened. The inspection went very well but it didn't end until about 2:50. Then, it took me an hour to get home due to holiday traffic heading North up the 5. Right about that time I also realized that I was hungry due to the fact that I had not eaten one single thing the entire day. Now THAT is not like me. The husband and I went to dinner and I am just now getting home.

Re: The Dog
That place is so nice I can't bring myself to uproot him on Tuesday and move him to the cheaper place. I am such a sucker.
I am not a fan of the dog's name and I have a cold, flinty heart (according to David) when it comes to pets but this dog is seriously adorable. Get her Michelle.
With my new Super LASIK vision, I can see you from here, Nikki.

Ok, I have a peeve. While waiting for it be 11 am so that I can take the dog to the kennel, I am doing nothing constructive, so I decide to check out the web site for the fancy shmancy kennel (Did I mention that he gets his own bungalow with fenced yard?). You know that I am not a pet person or a real animal lover, but I would eventually like to get a small dog for myself and I think that the current dog needs a playmate. Fancy shmancy kennel is also a pet rescue place. How can you not want to rescue this dog? He looks like he is the same shape and size as the current dog. It would be nice to have a black one and a white one. We'll see what happens after we move into the new house with its big yard.

Oh yeah, the peeve. Needy dogs that make you want to adopt them.
I am pleased with myself for actually being in the mood to do some of this work that I get paid to do. I am sad that nobody is here to watch me working so hard.
Someday I hope to again have a day off from work that I can actually enjoy. This is what is going on today.

7-8:30 am: Clearing out the dining room, kitchen, and laundry room since the tile guy is coming later.
9-10 am: Give the dog his sedative and wait for the tile guy to show up.
11 am: Cesar shows up to babysit the tile guy. I take the dog to the kennel and go on to the new house.
12-2 pm: Inspection at the new house. The husband should being showing up at the inspection sometime in the middle of it, having come straight from the airport.
2:30 pm: Tell Cesar he can go home if he wants to, but if he doesnt, he is welcome to hang out in our child-free zone.
2:31 pm: Collapse from exhaustion at having been up late working on the house every night this week.
2:32 pm: Quit my freaking whining and finish painting the bathrooms.

I can't think much further ahead than that.
The trip to the vet can only be described as an ORDEAL. That dog really needs to get out more. He doesn't like strangers. Well, he doesn't like most strangers. I think he wanted to go home with one lady. It takes him awhile to settle down so when we are in a situation where lots of different people are in and out, he freaks out.

I signed in at the front desk and took him outside to wait for them to call me. It was fine. He even calmed down and we were standing there pleasantly looking out into the parking lot. Then an orderly came around from the back of the building and startled the dog. It scared the crap out of all parties involved.

I finally went into an exam room where I waited for quite a long while. Eventually a nurse came in but she couldn't even get near the dog to take his temperature or weigh him. She came back with reinforcements but he was growling so much that neither lady would come near him. They gave me a soft muzzle to put on him. It went on fairly easily and even though it looked a little barbaric, it was kind of cute because the dog had his tongue sticking out a little the whole time it was on.

The doctor came in and was able to examine him a little with me holding his head away from her. For him to get his shots, though, she was going to have to take him to the back without me. She left with the dog and closed the door. I heard nothing for a little while, then I heard lots of growling and shuffling and claws clicking on the floor. A few minutes later the door opened and the dog came trotting in. I said to him, "That wasn't too bad was it?". The doctor replied, "Well, he got the muzzle off and pooped everywhere."

She gave me some doggie sedatives for next time.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

I have been so busy this afternoon. Working. On getting the dog into a kennel. I am beginning to think that me getting into grad school next year is going to be easy compared to getting the dog into a kennel during Spring Break/Passover/Easter.

We have to kennel the dog because we have workers (tile, baseboards) coming in over the next few days and right after that we are going to start showing the condo to get it sold.

All week I have been totally screwed up on what day it is due to working only two days last week and taking Monday off (Dodger opening day wasn't even worth it) this week, so I keep forgetting to call around for a kennel for the dog because I am not driving him all the way up to freaking Lancaster to his old kennel.

All the kennels except for one are totally booked. The one? New Leash on Life is like the freaking Ritz for the dog. He gets his own bungalow for a mere $45 per night. WTF?! I can take him to the K9 Country Club that costs $22 per night, but not until the 13th. So I book the freaking dog into the freaking Ritz (this is getting really hard to write without cursing) and am told that I need to bring a copy of the dog's shots. Where the f*ck am I going to get a copy of the dog's shots? I call the husband who is in freaking Canada on business to ask him where the dog goes to get his shots. Oh, the dog is not current on his shots. Seriously.

At this point it has taken me over an hour to even find a place to put the dog and now he can't even go there because the husband has not kept up the dog's shots? (No, it isn't equally my responsibility because the husband came with the dog and the dog, therefore, is not mine.) Fortunately, the first vet I try has an opening tonight at 6 pm, so I can take the dog in for his shots to the tune of $68. This means that I have to cancel my one week follow-up with the eye doctor that was scheduled for this evening. (Vision holding strong at 20/15 one week post-LASIK.)

Since the husband doesn't return from Canada until tomorrow afternoon and I can't leave the tilers in the house by themselves, Cesar said he would come over and hang out for a few hours because I have to leave at 11 am to take the dog to freaking dog paradise and then go over to the new house to meet with the inspector and the realtor at Noon. I can't say that this is a hardship on Cesar since every time I call his house these days, I hear screaming children in the background.

Once I make it through tomorrow, there are like 9000 other things we need to do to get the condo ready to sell. Christ.
Not too worry, my friends, I am now IMing random strangers to fill my time. Oh, and I actually need to do some work right now because I have a meeting at 2 pm and I have a feeling that someone may be asking me some questions at it.
I too am sad I got in trouble for IMing at work... Mostly because it is my own stupidity but also because I'm bored... 8 weeks until mat leave. Say it with me 8 weeks... (my boss's not mine in case anyone was terrified about anything I hadn't told them...)
I am so sad that Joanne got in trouble for IMing at work. The rest of you will likely bear the brunt of this because I will increase the IM load on you.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

You know, if I had 2 k's in my name and had to come up with 2 bands that had K as their first letter, I probably would've spelled it incorrectly too. :)

So I just logged in to be all ready to be gripey about Launch being down (seriously twice for several hours in 2 days people??) but then it suddenly started playing. Can it be a gripe that I didn't get to gripe?? :)
I'm retarded, I spelled my own name wrong. Can I go home now?
1) Using band names, spell your name
Nick Lachey
Iggy Pop and the Stooges
Ice Cube

2) Appearance
Height: 5'4"
Hair color: L'oreal Preference- Coral Reef
Skin color: White with a splash of Chinese
Eye color: Brown
Piercings: One in each ear

3) Misc
Color Pants: Khaki
Song listening to: Paul coughing
Taste in mouth: Bergamot (mmm earl grey tea)
What's the weather like? Sunny
How are you? Bored

4) Do you...
Get motion sickness? Sadly, yes.
Have bad habits? Procrastinator
Get along w/ parents? Daddy's girl
Like to drive? Yes, although driving a stick in traffic sucks the big one
Have you broken the law? I swear I didn't know there was an actual law against that
Ran away from home? Once for 5 minutes
Snuck out of the house? Yep
Ever gone skinny dipping? Yep
Made prank phone calls? Yep (sorry to all the boys I ever loved in grade 7)
Tipped over a porta-potty? Eww
Used parents' credit card? Yep
Skipped school? Enough to fail grade nine math for absenteeism
Fell asleep in tub or shower? Nope
Been in a school play? Yes
Have children? I'd be happy with just a date at this point
Have a crush? Like 10 at the moment
Been in love? Yes
Had a hard time getting over anyone? Yeah
Been hurt? Yeah but the revenge was sweet
Your greatest regret? Still working on it

5) Random
Do you have a job? Would I have enough time to fill this out if I wasn't working?
CD in your player right now? TV on the Radio
If you were a crayon, what would you be?Annoyed by the sticky little kid hands messing up my lovely paper wrapping
What makes you happy? Naps
Happiest? New shoes
What's the next CD you will buy? Not Christina and Justin- I'm just gonna burn it off Michelle. That's not against the law, right?
What do you like to do? Drink at lunchtime

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

New bra is rubbing my back raw in a spot. :(
Well, I haven't been at work in nearly a week, so here is a time consuming task for all. This is brought to you by Heather M., not to be confused with Heather K. You know I hate these things, so I am now forcing you to read random things about me. You can force yourself on others in this way as well. Just copy and paste, my friends.

1) Using band names, spell your name
Maroon 5
Christina Aguilera
Lisa Loeb
Everything But The Girl

2) Appearance
Height: 5'6"
Hair color: Brown
Skin color: Pale, unless compared to actual white people, then tan
Eye color: Brown
Piercings: Three in one ear, one in the other.

3) Misc
Color Pants: Blue jeans
Song listening to: The hum of my computer
Taste in mouth: Red pepper hummus and pita
What's the weather like? Nice, but chillier than I was expecting this morning
How are you? Eh.

4) Do you...
Get motion sickness? Never
Have bad habits? Sloth
Get along w/ parents? Fairly well
Like to drive? Not to work
Have you broken the law? Not so much
Ran away from home? Never
Snuck out of the house? Lots
Ever gone skinny dipping? Never have, never would
Made prank phone calls? Probably
Tipped over a porta-potty? That's nasty
Used parents' credit card? Not without permission
Skipped school? Lots
Fell asleep in tub or shower? Uh, no
Been in a school play? Yes, I have a varsity drama letter, in fact
Have children? No thanks
Have a crush? Everyone needs a little one
Been in love? Yes
Had a hard time getting over anyone? Not so much
Been hurt? My tummy hurts a little right now
Your greatest regret? I don't think I have one

5) Random
Do you have a job? Unfortunately
CD in your player right now? I hate to admit it, but in my car CD player is the Target exclusive CD featuring Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake
If you were a crayon, what would you be? I'd be a freaking crayon. What kind of question is this?
What makes you happy? Paid time off
Happiest? Tanning
What's the next CD you will buy? Beats me
What do you like to do? Not come to work
Baby Registries (and perhaps registries in general) are my current peeve! I didn't see Michelle's post to my blog about buying a sleep positioner in time, so instead I just stood in the baby section trying to figure out what sssy albt blks are and where I would find grbr onses blu... It took FOREVER! And the Easter bunny in the mall waved at me. I think it thought I was staring at it, but really I was actually not really focusing on anything and happened to be looking in the direction of the Easter bunny and trying to figure out what the store behind the Easter bunny sold because they were having a huge sale.

Ok and for the record I did figure out that grbr onses blu actually translates to Gerber Onesies Blue and sssy albt blks are Sassy Alphabet Blocks. But still, I like ordering from registries online. So much easier! And in case you care, my boss is getting a pack of burping cloths, a pack of Gerber Onesies and a little plastic duck that floats in the tub to tell you if the water is too hot. Prolly right around the 20.00 mark.

Monday, April 05, 2004

Ahh. I agree with you about the whole April Fool's day, however I did get a trick played on me. At about 1:30, I get an email from a friend of mine who has been a little unhappy at her job. This is what it says... "I gave notice today." Now forgetting that it is April Fool's day I get all worried about what happened at her job to push her over that edge... April Fool! Lucky me. :| It was a minor prank, though so I wasn't too traumatized.

I concur with the deep hearted thank you to Cadbury and to Hershey. Traditional Cadbury Creme eggs only for me tho... none of these new fangled caramel crap.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

1-- I would like to thank the world at large for not playing any April Fools's Day jokes. Since we are well out of junior high school, I believe the time for such things is long past. I never liked that kind of crap anyway.
2-- Thanks to Cadbury for inventing the Creme Egg and Hershey for continuing to make it after buying Cadbury.

1-- Many streets in the valley (the San Fernando Valley or The Valley, for out-of-towners) are nicely laid out on a grid, so if you remember roughly in which order they fall, you can get around fairly easily. In theory. In reality, almost none of the streets, except the major arteries, are continuous so god forbid you should try to use logic to find your way around. Oh, and you are in serious trouble if a road happens to be blocked. (This peeve brought to you by Michelle who had the unfortunate idea to try to get from CSUN to her new house in Van Nuys West [that's what it said on the listing, so I am sticking with it] using medium-sized surface streets.)
2-- The GRE study class I am taking just makes me feel dumber each week. I never should have dropped out of grad school. It is too hard to get back in.
3-- Now that we are in escrow on the new house, we have to sell the old house. We have lots of small and some medium tasks to complete before we can list it. The good news is that our condo will sell for at least $70k over what we bought it for less than two years ago.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

I can see!

The LASIK was successful. I can see perfectly. I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow morning to make sure everything is fine, but I think that all the Cadbury Creme Eggs I have been eating are speeding the healing process along nicely.
I hate the new (relatively new maybe only new to me because i don't pay attention) roll-over ads. I have hit the Cheri Oteri one on TWOP like 5 times today... AND IT TALKS! This doesn't help me at work!